you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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