it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
