That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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