wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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