last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
