the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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