I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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