Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
