Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
