It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
