I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
time to smoke my breakfast
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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