I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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