You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
