It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
