i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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