Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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