I wanna passion pit in your ass
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
