In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize