I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
the liver wants what the liver wants
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
