I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
