just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I understand Curling. That high.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
