I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
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I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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