I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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