I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
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I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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