Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize