Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
