I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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