do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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