Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
