Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
