well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Even my vagina gasped.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is Oprah even human
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize