It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
