update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
