Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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