So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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