did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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