I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sext me about skeletons
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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