Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
