Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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