so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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