I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
