she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
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I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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