Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
