I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
