Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
