ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
