How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Vodka?
Forever.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
