doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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