you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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