so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
