That's intense
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize