T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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