so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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