You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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