the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize