forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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