you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
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did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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