Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
