This girl is more easily done than said...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
