How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
