What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
