We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
