you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
