I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
