'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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