For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
