I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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