So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
